30 Years and Counting

My husband and I just celebrated 30 years of marriage, which is NOT easy. It was only by the grace of God that we made it this far. When people get married there are vows that we all recite, with no intention of having to keep them, because, if we are honest we believe we will be blissfully happy forever. For example, in sickness and in health, that vow rolls of the tongue as if saying I love you. When I got sick fifteen years ago (which is half the time I’ve been married by the way)  It rocked the whole family, my children who were very young at the time, and needed their mother to function at top speed and also my husband who needed the wife he married. I was so young when this happened the illness hit us like a ton of bricks.

Not only was I sick, I was also told I would no longer be able to work, which made me disabled at an age when I was supposed to be in the prime of my life. Those are some very strong odds to beat in a marriage. The cards were definitely stacked against us, a situation that has ended a lot of marriages. My husband however, instead of abandoning us stepped up his game one hundred per cent. He turned into mister mom as well as taught the children how to pitch in whenever possible. My husband also worked overtime to make sure the bills were paid on time, which was a challenge because we were down to one income because of my illness. I think it would be safe to say my husband is a man who took his vows seriously and honored his promise he made to me and God. I never really understood the magnitude of his commitment until I was put in his shoes.


Almost a year ago my husband became very ill,  years after my illness, everyone has adjusted to my situation by now, and we have learned how to live with my limitations. When my husband became ill the whole system broke down, my daughters were devastated, I was lost trying to hold everything together be strong for everybody and encouraging, when inside I just wanted to through my hands up or run to a corner close my eyes and hope when I open them up everything would be back to normal with my husband running the ship. Unfortunately that scenario did not happen.

When my husband and I were first married he would always say, he was the captain of the ship and when the captain goes down the ship goes down. I would always say no, because I’m the co-captain and, I can run the ship as well as you can because we are a team. Well, turns out he was right the whole dynamic of the house was thrown off. Non of us knew what to do without our captain.

I realize now why God placed the husband as the head of the house, it is because he equipped him with the ability to handle emergency, and life changing situations with a level head. I’ve always considered myself a strong woman, and I am however, I’m strong in a woman help mate kind of way in a way that God created me to be strong. It is important for men and women to know their place in the marriage, that helps to prevent a breakdown in the system.  When there is a breakdown in the way God created it to flow there is contention and strife in the marriage eventually resulting in divorce. I believe my marriage is 30 years strong because we both know our roles in the marriage have trust in Gods process and, in the way God set up the institution of marriage.

Moral of the story, Marriage is not easy, and not without problems however, when you understand the vows you promised to each other and, understand that you might have to put your promises into action, also acknowledging that with Gods help all things are possible.  With God for you who can be against you, Be strong in the Lord and move forward with complete confidence.

Be Encouraged!

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