Have you ever found yourself in a bad situation that was completely out of your control, and ask the question, why is this happening to me? Then thinking, I must have done something wrong. At the same time not being able to think of anything that could have warranted this type of punishment. Let me, be the first to raise my hand, when I was a child my life was everything one would classify as a great childhood until the age of nine years old. For one decade unimaginable things happened, things I never wanted to talk about, things that would change the course of my life forever and, were totally out of my control. What started out to be the perfect childhood turned into a horrible nightmare.
I lost my mother to suicide at the age of nine, the day of the funeral, my mother’s husband had me pack my belongings and he then, dropped me off at my grandmother’s house. One week after the funeral I was sent to live with some relatives I had never met. So, as you can probably imagine I was confused wondering what the hell happened to my life, and where the hell was God. During the next decade while living with this family, I was physically, sexually, verbally, and emotionally abused. To add insult to injury, soon after moving in with the family I never knew I found out my grandmother was dying of Cancer. One year after I found out her diagnosis she was dead, leaving me alone with no father in my life, mother dead, and now no grandmother.
It wasn’t until years later that I got the answer to the burning question of, what was the point of all that had happened in my childhood. God later told me, nothing I had gone through was a surprise that Satan dropped on him suddenly. God also explained to me, how he turned what Satan meant for evil, and for my destruction into a blessing help others. Let me be a little more clear, I had to go through everything I went through so I would be able to help someone else who would be going through the same thing, thinking there was no hope and feeling ashamed and unloveable. God wanted me to be able to tell somebody that despite their circumstances God is still God, and he loves them. I’m living proof that the past does not define who we are, and, we are who God says we are, we just have to believe. If I had never spoken about what happened to me, I would not have been healed from the scars that were left on my heart from all the abuse therefore, being unable to help others get healed.
The Scripture says that all things work together for good for those who love the lord and are called according to his purpose. It also says count it all joy when we go through tough times. Things have to happen a certain way and at certain times in order for us to reach our destiny. What that also means is, even though things seem too tough to bear God is working behind the scenes helping us and holding us up so we can stand against all the firey darts Satan throws our way. As a matter of fact we are promised that in this life we will have pain, people will come and go in and out of our life. However, it all happens to get us to the place God wants us to be. When I lost my mother I thought I would never smile again. The loss was the most devastating thing I had ever been through. I was broken for many years not only because of her death, but everything that happened as a result. However, because of the grace of God I was able to write a book, titled Revelation at Cliff House That tells the story of how God never left my side and was helping me when I didn’t know I needed help. I now go on speaking engagements to encourage other women who may be hurting, and help them understand that everything that happened to them in their past that was meant to destroy them, was actually to empower them and get them ready to be used by God.