The end of last year was challenging to say the least. If you have been following along you know in November I lost two very special people in my life to a tragic car accident. while I was grieving that loss, my husband became very sick and was unable to work for over 30 days. My husband is someone who does not take off work unless it is absolutely necessary, if he has to crawl in he’s going, so when he took off without any nagging from me, I knew he was very sick. I was so concerned about his health, it consumed my life. I have been unable to blog, pray regularly, or even read the Bible which is where my strength comes from in times like this and, the advice I give others when they are going through tough times.
When I began to realize what was going on I realized it was depression creeping in and that Satan was using this situation to distract me from doing Gods work. I was not interceding for my husband, or my daughters who were having a hard time as well. At the New Years Eve Sunday Service, the speaker spoke about being frustrated, which spoke loud and clear to my situation. Part of the reason I was depressed was because when trying to figure what was wrong with my husband getting an appointment was like pulling teeth. the person responsible for making appointments was not answering the phone, and when we left messages they were not returned.
It felt like the whole world was against us and I didn’t understand why, all we wanted to do was get some answers so we could get back to our life. Once we finally got a consultation the Dr. assured us we would have some answers once the procedure was completed. When the procedure was completed we still had no answers and, we were told more test need to be completed. Although we were happy that the news wasn’t life threatening we were disappointed that we still had no answers.
After I let the message sink in it was confirmation that God had been speaking to me even though I could barely hear him. The Lord was telling me to trust him, the speaker said when we are frustrated trust God. I happened to hear a song that says “when you can’t hear my voice, please trust my plan I’m the Lord, I see you and yes I understand.” So I began to pray again and read every scripture that spoke to my situation as well as play that song over and over until I felt better. I’m going to leave you with this side note. We still don’t know whats wrong with my husband and more testing still needs to be done however, my focus is different I’m focused on God and, trusting the process if you will, and I’m slowly getting back to my life.
I am confident when we come out of this valley we all will be stronger as a family. God promises us peace and not evil, hope and an expected end. When we lose our peace, which is the definition of frustration God gives us direction in the Bible on how to get back our peace. We must trust him, also he will keep us un perfect peace when our mind is on him. When we focus on God, our problem starts to look smaller and the God we serve is looking bigger than the problem. We must also trust that Gods timing is perfect, then, we can rest in him.