The past week has been one of the hardest I’ve had to endure in a very long time. I’ve been through some pretty tough times in my life dealing with being sick, living with heart disease. The deaths of my mother and father in law not to mention my own mother, even the untimely deaths of some of my friends. However this past week my family lost two young family members ages 26 and 23 two brothers killed in a brutal car accident that took their young lives instantly. The parents of the boys are devastated as well as completely heartbroken. I can only imagine that pain, as much as my heart is broken it does not compare even a little bit to what they are going through knowing they will never see their boys again in this life. We often see this kind of thing on the news and think to ourselves wow that’s horrible however, when it happens this close to home it is absolutely heart wrenching. The accident was caused by a reckless and irresponsible driver who was speeding down the highway above 80mph.
I am a woman of faith but, I gotta tell you spirituality I was shook to the point of anger. I could not wrap my head around why two beautiful, happy, kind, thoughtful, and saved young men who had their whole lives ahead of them and had touched so many lives in a good way died so suddenly. Part of the reason for my anger was because I know without a doubt God could have prevented that whole situation however, it happened anyway and I couldn’t get past it because I know that’s the same God who has saved me from death more than once. Throughout the week I prayed for peace not just for me but, also for the parents. In addition I prayed some sort of reasoning behind this tragedy so I could move forward. I could not eat or sleep, I cried all the time, it was on my mind all day everyday, I was inconsolable.
Finally one day I shut down all the noise by cutting off the television, I didn’t take any calls and I spent some alone time with God. During my time alone I didn’t really get what I was looking for but, my time with God was not in vain I believe he sent people with the right words for comfort. I talked to my daughter who gave me her perspective also I got scripture references to read. I had my cousin talking to me everyday helping me process everything as well as people praying for me for clarity and peace.
It took me seven days of processing, crying and finally meditating on Isaiah 26:3. I finally have something to help me move forward. First off I had to remember his ways are not our ways, sometimes I’m not ever going to know the why and, in this case it really isn’t my business. Second, God loved those boys better than anyone including their parents so I have to trust God and trust he knew what was best for the boys. Third, the thing that made me angry is, in the end was what also helped me. That same God that loves me and saved me from death is the same God who also loves those boys. Chris and Jon were his, on loan to his parents and the rest of us to bring joy to our lives. Each of us has an expiration date the day we are born, we assume it’s going to be a long life, but only God knows how long we have on earth. God is still God no matter the circumstance and worthy to be praised.
Although their life seemed to be cut off way too soon, I believe based on all the lives they touched collectively, that they fulfilled their purpose here on earth. So I thank God for allowing me to be apart of their lives from the beginning. We didn’t see each other everyday or even every week but when we did come together it was all love so I take comfort in knowing they knew I loved them and they loved me very much.
I’ll miss you Chris and Jon but, I’ll see you again, until then Rest In Peace. Xoxo