A Motherless Daughter

It’s almost Mother’s Day and this one is no different from the others in that it is filled with all sorts of emotions. Those emotions include depression, sadness, and joy. I am a motherless daughter, a mother with no mother. I live with that fact everyday however it is especially hard on Mother’s Day which some might say is odd because I am a mother which I would agree is one of the greatest gifts God gave me, my two daughters (which is the reason for the joy). However it’s still a sad time for me because, while my daughters are celebrating me, because of the love I pour out to them I long for that same type of affection. I would give anything to be able to say I love you and have her say it back just one more time, to see her smile at me, eyes filled with love and adoration. There is a void in my heart that only my mother could fill and she’s not here nor, has she been here since I was a child.

Sadness overwhelms me as I think of everything she missed such as high school graduation, college graduation, my wedding, the birth her two grandchildren, my second college graduation, the Heart attack that almost killed me, then finally the book that I wrote and dedicated to her. Those were all happy and wonderful times in my life (except for the heart attack of course). However every happy  moment was shadowed by the fact that my mother was not there to celebrate with me, even in the case of the heart attack I needed her in a different way.

My mother has been dead over 40 years and there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t miss her or think about her, she was my first love and she was the first person I remember loving me unconditionally. I was a very young child when my mother died and it  recently occurred to me that no one ever told her happy Mother’s Day, which makes me sad because of all the love I’m shown at this time from my husband and daughters. My mother was divorced so there was no one to alert me to tell her happy Mother’s Day. So tonight with tears rolling down my face I’d like to tell my mother, Happy Mother’s Day continue to Rest In Peace and, I hope I made you proud.

I’d also like to tell other motherless daughters you are not alone. ( I’m crying so hard right now I can’t type anymore) Let me end this post by saying, I always thought I didn’t know how to be a mother to my girls because no one taught me how to be a mother, then God told me I knew the day you were born that you would loose your mother.  Therefore  I put everything in you that you need to be a good mother to your children. So let me say to anyone who may have had those same thoughts, Gods got you! There is nothing that has happened in your life was a surprise to him, you are fully equipped to do whatever comes your way and, God is no respect of person if he did it for me he’ll do it for you.

Happy Mother’s Day!  Be Encouraged